Unfortunately it is a subject that is often avoided, simply because it can make people uncomfortable. To make it even more difficult to discuss is the way that society can often view sexual trauma. Rape and other forms of sexual assault can happen to both men and women at any time in their lives, though it most commonly occurs in children and young adults. With the difficulty many people have discussing their sexual trauma, the emotional pain and confusion is often suffered in silence for years.
Fact We Live in a Rape Culture
The culture we live in plays a large role in how we deal with sexual abuse. While celebrities are starting to break with tradition and discuss their sexual traumas in public, it is still not enough to effect any change. Popular culture can affect how we view sexual trauma, and this is where the changes first need to occur. Some of the stereotypes that persist to this day can include, girls still being taught that they need a man to feel complete, and boys continue to believe that showing emotions is a sign of weakness. Adding to the belief that we live in a culture that seems to support sexual abuse are the movies and television shows that can glorify it.
What can be even more confusing is the message that society is telling us that it is wrong to talk openly about sex, even though it is everywhere. While we are taught not to have sexual irresponsibly, cheating is common and pornographic material can be found almost everywhere. With all of the confusing sexual messages that society is embracing, it can even be difficult for couples to achieve orgasms or embrace effective sexual technique. With a growing number of men and women experiencing some type of sexual abuse or trauma in their lives, it is time to consider more creative ways to turn sexual trauma into orgasmic bliss.
Sexual intercourse can have enormous healing powers and can also help us to grow closer to our partners and even ourselves. In order for this to happen, we need to educate our children and give ourselves permission to have uninhibited sex with our partners without the fear of society’s ridicule. It is important to remember that any sexual activity that involves your partner should first be discussed. Trying to force someone to perform any sexual act is simply another type of abuse.
1. Learn that sexuality isn’t just about sex.
Remember your inner child, and when a simple touch just felt good. There were no pressures to engage in intercourse or other sexual activities; it was only about innocently enjoying yourself for a moment.
2. Reconnect with innocence.
This can be especially helpful if you have recently experienced or are recovering from a sexual trauma. Simply imagine yourself as a young teenager again, when you were first discovering your body. Reconnecting with this innocence regarding sexual feelings and experiences can help you begin to recover and remember that sex was never meant to be traumatic.
3. Rekindle your relationship with nature.
Nature can help couples rediscover their sensual sides, and even reconnect with each other intimately. There is life and sex apparent all over in nature from bees pollinating flowers to the hatching of baby birds, having intercourse outdoors can lead to an amazing orgasm for both partners and a new sense of appreciation for each other.
4. Redefine power.
Instead of always trying to in control in the bedroom, couples should always treat sexual intercourse as a team effort. There should never be an unbalance in power, where one partner is always taken care of first. Giving and sharing can be an even more powerful feeling than the one you get when you are simply in control.
5. Let your orgasm out.
Don’t ever be afraid, ashamed, or embarrassed to have an orgasm or to show one. Not only will you enjoy it more when you simply let it out, chances are your partner will appreciate as well. Having an orgasm is never something that a person should be ashamed about.
6. Talk to your kids.
It is normal for small children to explore their bodies, and as parents you should never make them feel ashamed or embarrassed. While there are times and places where it would not be encouraged, at home in the bath is perfectly normal. When they are older and puberty is approaching, you will be better able to handle the sexual discussions that all parents wind up having.
7. Take charge of your reproductive health.
Men and women should be responsible for their health, including their sexual organs. Learn to recognize your body’s reactions and notice when something just seems to be wrong. While it is always encourage visiting a health care provider regularly, it is still your responsibility to know your own body.
While society may make it difficult for men and women to discuss past sexual traumas, and it may encourage confusing sexual behaviors, a few creative changes can help you and your partner overcome sexual abuse and begin a new way of looking at sex.