George H.W. Bush spokesman Jim McGrath confirmed ex-President George ‘Poppy’ Bush (41) received a personal phone call and gift from Russian President Vladimir Putin on his 90th birthday
“Putin called Bush and sent a portrait of President Bush as a young Navy ensign in his dress whites.”
Upon close inspection of the portrait, one of the insignia on the uniform had a slight bulge which was revealed to be a micro-processor that fed a secure line to the Kremlin with the frame acting as a transmitter.
When confronted, the KGB denied any involvement, didn’t comment on the fact that they were 20 years late and blamed it on Obama. “We learned from the Republicans that everything is Obama’s fault and why not this?”
Since their funding lapsed with the fall of the Soviet Union in the 90’s, the KGB had been operating with a rolodex and a very tiny 1970’s spy camera. Since the lone CVS in Moscow does not develop film, the camera is as useless as the ‘G’ in lasagna.
The Kremlin’s official English-language Twitter feed also wished Bush well as it said “Vladimir Putin congratulated George W. Bush on the 90th anniversary,” adding that he “looks about 30 years younger than his age,” obviously confusing the fact that ‘W’ is his son and not the 90 year old father.
The younger Bush famously painted a portrait of Putin which was panned by him as “Not being realistic. The eyebrows are too heavy and it looks like I’m wearing makeup. I’ll just have to invade a nearby country to prove my manhood. That’ll show them!”