January is the time when companies go on a hiring spree to fill new positions and to replace former employees whom they terminated the year before. It’s also when most people join a gym to lose weight, and when most single adults register with dating websites to find The One. It’s an important time to make good first impressions and so make sure that you don’t look like you’re “Out There.“
You might be a Hipster if:
- You tell your friends that you’re allergic to half of the food at the grocery store (wheat, dairy, meat, etc.) and you drink a bottle of red wine everyday.
- Your therapist told you that you try to do too much and so now you do nothing at all. You leave your dirty dishes and pans everywhere and never load or unload the dishwasher, you throw dinner parties every week and you don’t clean up afterwards, you never take out the garbage, and you leave your shoes in the middle of walkways, etc.
- You adopt a dog from a rescue kennel and then make him sleep on your cold hardwood floor.
- You drive a gas guzzling SUV that never has anything in it.
- You date online via text
- You drink a huge cup of coffee on a first date.
- You tell your dates that you live in the most expensive neighborhood in The City and when they come over they discover that you share a 750 square foot apartment with a roommate.
- You tell your dates that you’ve traveled the world and then later they discover that you paid for it by using your credit cards or you refinanced your condo.
- You tell your dates that you are a senior executive at a company when it’s actually a new start-up that doesn’t have any money or any customers.
- You still believe that if you keep searching you’ll find a man who wants to support a wife and kids.
- You still believe that if you keep searching you’ll find a woman who comes from a rich family.
- You continue to date someone and keep having sex when you know that he or she is not The One and you plan to find someone else.
- You run errands in public wearing form fitting leggings with a short shirt so that everyone can see your butt.
- You bought three outfits from a high end designer boutique and you wear them every week just like clockwork.
- You wear fur to special events.
- You ignore your customers’ budgets and try to get them to spend more than they can afford, and then you try to persuade them to use financing that comes with a high interest rate.
- When your best friend nudges you into a jewelry store and asks you what kind of engagement rings you like, you pick the most expensive ones.
- On Sunday mornings your significant other takes you to a very crowded restaurant and you scold the server because s/he hasn’t brought you your food.
- There are regions of the world where nobody washes their hands after they go to the bathroom, and you eat at their busiest restaurants when the cooks and servers don’t have time to go to the bathroom at all which reduces the probability of them washing their hands even further.
- You still believe in “Trickle Down Economics”
- You think that homeless people caused their problems when the cheapest apartments cost $1,800 a month.
- You put high heel shoes on your five year old daughter and let her run wild.
This is for single women: Don’t be pressured by men who are searching for a hipster. Those who have a good job think that they’re a good catch but in reality they don’t bring anything to a relationship because they don’t care about their girlfriend. Their entire focus is on getting their own needs met. It’s very common for women to make excuses for them and to believe that they’ll get better someday but they probably won’t. Learning how to be a good partner is as hard as learning how to swim. It’s almost as hard as learning how to be a good parent. Few people recognize that and so they don’t try hard enough, and when their relationships fail they just quit and try someone else. A thirty five year old man who is searching for a woman who has “the whole package” is saying that he doesn’t want to do any work at all. Marriage requires hard work and so a person who doesn’t want to do any work at all would be a really bad candidate. He’s not marriage material.