So, if you’re like me, you went to see Guardians of the Galaxy on opening night. I want to tell you that I have been a fan of the franchise for years, and that I knew the characters like the back of my hand. I want to tell you that I got into heated debates over the exact shade of green of Gamora’s skin, and hypothesized how Lee Pace might bring Ronan the Accuser to life on the big screen. I really want to tell you these things, but the truth is I was as new to this series as your average, every day, non-geek. It was bound to happen eventually I suppose. I am a card carrying, comic book loving, red blooded, bespectacled American woman, and while I have read and enjoyed thousands (yes, thousands) of comics in my lifetime, I never bothered to pick up a copy of Guardians of the Galaxy. I couldn’t tell you why exactly. I never had a legitimate reason for not reading them, I simply didn’t.
I am unashamed to admit, that I did, however, go see Guardians of the Galaxy opening night because of a 2 second scene in a preview where Chris Pratt is wet, doused in something orange, and shirtless. Then there were some explosions, a psychotic raccoon, a smiley tree person, a monster and a hot green lady, so at that point I pretty much had to, didn’t I? I don’t think I’ve properly emphasized the abby-ness of Chris Pratt’s abs. I’m going to say his name again– Chris Pratt you guys. Chris. Mutha-‘Effin. Pratt. He pretty much has the world by the cojones right now which is absolutely phenomenal considering that a few years ago, he was basically homeless, living on a beach in a van in Maui. In terms of rags to riches, it couldn’t have happened to a more down to earth guy. He dresses up as his character Peter Quill / Star-Lord and visits sick kids in the hospital. Anna Farris, you lucky, lucky duck.
His easy smiles and affable humor make him at once, the guy next door, your first boyfriend, your best friends hot brother, and the class clown at whom even the teacher couldn’t resist a chuckle. The man has summer blockbuster written all over his perfectly chiseled drool worthy abs, and chin scruff. If Guardians of the Galaxy wasn’t your thing (you’re obviously dead inside), that’s OK! He’ll be lighting up cinemas on June 12, 2015, as Owen Grady – a dude who rides motorcycles and trains Velociraptors. If that isn’t the best fictional job most likely to get you laid, ever created, I will eat my own foot. If you aren’t into dinosaurs (you’re wrong), Magnificent Seven is up and coming, and Passengers co-starring Jennifer Lawrence should be massively entertaining.
The food I have deemed worthy of the talent, personality, and sheer loveliness of one of the few, genuinely funny, nice guys in Hollywood, is my Banana Bread. Not just any banana bread, folks. This banana bread is chock full of awesome. It’s got chocolate, slivered toasted almonds, Craisins, cinnamon and all the butter you can shake a stick at. I know Chris worked his tail off getting into shape for Guardians of the Galaxy, but this is not a diet dish. Not even close. I mean, it has bananas in it, which is a fruit, so if you really want to stretch it, we’ll call it a health food. (*WINK*)
Chris, I love you so hard. xoxo
The Last Banana Bread Recipe You Will Ever Need
- 2 cups (generous) mashed over ripe bananas
- 2 1/4 cups all purpose flour
- 1 tsp salt
- 2 sticks butter (plus extra to grease pans)
- 1 2/3 cups sugar
- 4 eggs
- 1 cup slivered almonds
- 1 cup semi sweet chocolate chips
- 1/2 cup craisins
- 1/2 tsp cinnamon
- 1 tsp vanilla
In one bowl combine flour, salt, cinnamon and baking soda. Once well mixed, add chocolate chips, almonds, and Craisins. Coating the outside of the chocolate, almonds, and dried cranberries will help them to stay suspended evenly throughout the batter once the wet and dry ingredients are combined. Otherwise, they will sink to the bottom of the pan and they chocolate may burn.
In a separate bowl, combine softened butter, eggs, sugar, bananas, and vanilla. The batter should be thick, sticky and lumpy.
Add the dry ingredients to the wet, careful to not over-mix the batter.
Preheat your oven to 350, and the vessel for the bread is entirely up to you. I will say that it takes a little longer to set in a glass bottomed pan, than a tin foil or metal one. I have glass bread pans, so I usually get 2 very full loaves if I use them. If you are using the disposable tin foil bread pans, the yield may possibly be 3 or 4 loaves. In a glass pan, I check to see if the bread has set around the 45 minute mark, but in a tin foil pan, it may be slightly less. The batter is very dense, and may take a while to set in the middle. Check with a toothpick and when it comes out clean, pull them out of the oven and let them cool inside the pans. When they are completely cool to the touch, they can be removed from their pans and eaten, or wrapped in cellophane and foil and frozen for up to 6 months.
You may want to make a double batch. It goes pretty fast. Faster than some bimbo in a bar would throw caution to the wind and ravage Peter Quill in the lower decks of a star cruiser named Milano.