Have you ever been chemically moved by someone and never understood why – only to have your heart broken? This is because many of us don’t quite understand what the concept of love truly is and more times than not we fall into the same patterns ending up at exactly the same place.
This article will teach you the philosophy of the three different types of love and prep you to take a brave step forward with a clear head and an open heart.
1) Eros love (Erotic or self-promoting love)
This is best put as our romanticized version of love. Although it goes beyond the physical exterior, it has boundaries. To imagine this love for a second, think of someone you may have met in the past that made you believe it was “love at first sight.” They gave you those warm fuzzy feelings in the pit of your stomach and you knew you just had to have them, no matter what.
This is a very dangerous kind of love, an illusion. The type of love that people often get lost in and hurts the most. The problem with these relationships, besides the fact they don’t last, is why they don’t last.
Here’s why – You fall in love with a concept of someone and as the relationship grows you start to see a new side of things, the perfect person you imagined now has all of this baggage and what you felt has faded. You may not even be ‘in love’ with them anymore.
You see, everlasting love does not falter, you must be willing to handle all the negative traits of your partner or walk away.
2) Phillos love (Love/friendship ‘the give and take’)
Many know that most long-term relationships bloom out of friendship. You may have known someone for several years and over time felt a strong connection with them both mentally and physically. In this form of love, you have essentially spent the time getting to know them. You know what they like or dislike and vice-versa, you may also find similarities with them being a reflection of yourself.
In this form of love you help one another – for example, you may be co-workers who inspire one another to take risks that you wouldn’t take on your own. Hence the name, ‘the give and take.’
3) Agape (Unconditional love)
Unconditional love is the highest form of love. It is a selfless act towards another human being without any expectation or boundary. To achieve this kind of love, you have to first love and accept what you cannot change. We are all perfectly imperfect and that’s what bonds us. When we accept this, and change our perspective on the outcome the possibilities are endless.
How many times have you left a date with a bitter taste in your mouth or tried to change somebodies opinion of you? What do you think would have happened if you had just wished that person well?
The universe works in mysterious ways,
as Lily Hardy Hammond wrote, “You don’t pay love back, you pay it forward.”
In conclusion, don’t fall for the first heartthrob you see. Love yourself first, be kind to others and you will see love in a whole new light.
*please note that this article has been summarized by the author. For more information on this topic, please read The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis