Kendra Wilkinson, a former Playboy model and reality television star, has been living through a nightmare of a marital crisis. According to People magazine in an article released on September 26, 2014, the 29-year-old blonde beauty has been devastated by rumors of her husband Hank Baskett’s infidelity with a transsexual. But it’s not just the shame and personal humiliation she’s feeling that is crushing the young girls heart. It’s the effects that her husband’s affairs and infidelities are causing her 4 1/2-year-old son. Having lost faith in her husband (and forced to endure what surely must feel like a public relation’s disaster for all), the sporty and chipper Bunny is likely to survive. But right now it appears she feels like she has lost it all. E! News says she’s close to divorcing him but the source indicates she is dragging her feet. Perhaps it is time the hurt and confused young woman look to another celebrity scandal survivor — actress Sandra Bullock — for some celebrity mom wisdom about how to endure such a deep betrayal of her family?
Sandra Bullock, another celebrity who was forced to face a cheating scandal so severe that she actually had a difficult time showing her face in public for quite some time, persevered through the trauma. In her case, she and Jesse James were in the process of adopting a baby together when the scandal hit the news airwaves. Her love life also unraveled in a very public way when verified stories came out that he had been sleeping with multiple women – – including a tattoo model nicknamed Bombshell McGee.
What the two women have in common is both appear to have justifiably lost faith in their romantic partners. There is nothing more devastating than finding out not only is your love interest making a fool of you in public, but that they also are duplicitous enough to have their partner feel completely duped in private. Sadly, infidelities of these sorts are often devastating to women who endure lives with cheating partners. But even sadder is the effect psychologically of marital dysfunction and relationship disorders on very young children.
In the case of Sandra Bullock, the child she and Jesse James were adopting when their relationship was destroyed was only an infant. She immediately removed herself from the relationship and went to stay in another state. As such, the child was not likely to have been exposed to the terrible arguments Kendra Wilkinson’s child has most likely already overheard while listening to date.
When a parent cheats and lies vehemently about an affair, children often suffer long term effects. Rather than bouncing back from their parents separation or divorce, they oftentimes end up feeling like they themselves have been cheated on says Mad About Marriage blogger Mike Tucker. Tucker says, “When a parent cheats on his or her spouse, children feel as though they were “cheated on” as well. They often feel as betrayed as does the offended spouse; infidelity affects them deeply. “Weren’t we good enough for daddy?” or, “Why would mommy do that to us?” are typical expressions of pain from children when a parent has cheated.”
What’s more, Tucker points out that children of deceptive and adulterous parents often think of themselves as potentially deficient as moral characters as they age. After all, daddy provides half of a child’s DNA. If he lies and cheats while blaming his nature once caught, an offspring by deduction may fear he or she may turn out to be morally deficient in many of the same ways.
Add to the fear of an otherwise good child being handicapped in his or her relationships, you have the sound parent emotionally crippled by the actions of the cheater. As such, a young child — especially a toddler or a child the age of Wilkinson’s when the relationship breaks — not only loses one parent but two.
Neither Sandra Bullock or Kendra Wilkinson are likely to be the same women they were before the celebrity infidelity news broke. To that end, the child loses not only a parent who is exiled for their own protection [namely, the cheater or abusive partner]. They also suffer from not having the opportunity to be raised in a carefree home where their mother (in this particular set of cases) is 100% emotionally available to their child each and every day.
Kendra Wilkinson should take note of how Sandra Bullock has survived infidelity while parenting. Both in matters of the home and heart, Bullock has kept herself together, ditched the cheater, and gone on to be a role model for women while she parented as a single mom.
Losing a life partner to infidelity is no where near as painful as living a lie and pretending in public not to know or that nothing has gone wrong. If a romantic partner’s moral values do not include respect for others, calling it quits as politely and civilly as possible might be the best thing for all parties involved.
What do you think readers? Should Kendra Wilkinson walk away from the situation with Hank Baskett for her child’s sake? Or should she try to remain in the relationship and make things work while pretending the rumors are false and everything is okay? Let other readers know your thoughts in the comments section – – including sharing your experiences about how to survive a divorce when children are involved or marital infidelity ruins the family state.