Remember where you were on September 11, 2001? Now, 13 years later can you answer this question: how did it change the way you see the world?
For many it activated fear to a new level, for others the desire to crush the enemy, whoever they are. For some, it was the beginning of thinking about life and what matters in a deeper more holistic way.
What about YOU?
Is it a more violent world? Or has social media merely given us access to what goes on underneath the superficial that has been around, since people were in caves and tribes?
People hurting and hating people; you would think we would have learned new ways of resolving conflicts by now.
It just ain’t so.
I believe we have been looking in all the wrong places for ways to resolve conflict. We still use “JUBLA” (Judging, Blaming and Attacking) as the way out of our discontent.
My “Total Leadership Connections™” Program was to be launched on September 11, 2001. Of course we had to wait. And last month we started our 59th program. What I teach, what is missing, is that we do not look deeply enough as to why we punch and push and pull each other physically or verbally and therefore emotionally.
Now, Ray Rice is on the chopping block for domestic violence. Comments are flying to flame the fire to fire Commissioner Roger Goodell. Then it will be time to go after the whole NFL.
And when that is over there will be others, somewhere, anywhere we can judge, blame, and attack.
Here is what we are missing: what forms us is family, culture, and crises. When stress hits the hot button we all resort to ways of responding that we learned as kids for security and survival. It is a known fact that, sadly, so many who were abused physically, sexually, and emotionally resort to similar tactics as adults.
We also learn to become persecuting bullies, or victims, or avoiders, or deniers as adults.
Instead of firing Roger Goodell, instead of shunning Ray Rice, instead of pointing fingers at the NFL (isn’t the creed of contained violence at the core of football?) why not include them in doing some important work together to gather the facts about domestic violence, hey, about violence in general. They need to understand the real reasons why each and every one of them chose football as their career and what happens after they retire from the game.
Want a great example of deep thinking, watch retired NFL Safety Bo Eason’s, “The Runt of the Litter.”
Everyone has a story about something that happened to them when they were kids either in their family or the specific culture as they were growing up and perhaps some crisis that impacts the way they see the world.
It is time to find better solutions than JUBLA! Let’s not just point fingers and make them the bad ones so we can feel better about our own inner thoughts of violence.