Here’s a little dating/relationship advice for all of you out there… Because I know that we can be difficult at times, and we are from different planets i.e. Mars and Venus here’s a little advice for all the men out there on how to love your girl, and to the ladies for what to look for in love.
• Share your soul with me, share your true and authentic self … be real. Keep pieces maybe even that you only share with me, between us, that we keep in our home. Be who you truly are, don’t hold anything back… the ones you can be truly comfortable with and yourself with are the ones with whom you find true love… I fell in love with you, and I love how you show up, be authentic, trust.
• Gift me with your presence. The best gift you can give to me is yourself… show up over breakfast, make eye contact, tell me what happened in your day, good or bad, I want to hear it…trust… I never stop wondering what’s going on in your world and in your head, and while I can allow it to filter in and filter out without being a constant part of the streaming, make me a constant part of your day…and your life for that matter… now let’s lay out that blanket in the backyard and look at the stars.
• Be Wise enough and Smart enough to talk It out… yes, we know you’d prefer and often do hibernate in your cave, but communication is the ONLY way a relationship can work for the long term… I’m open to understanding how you uniquely communicate and meeting you in the middle… but either way, let’s make it happen…
• Know when I just need to turn off… as much as I like to talk and to communicate sometimes there are no words… or I run out of them, as my mom will tell you is a phrase I’ve used since childhood…sometimes I just need to slip away, have that hot bath or day trip to the beach where I hear nothing but the sounds of nature, or water running, meeting with my inner dialogue and reminding me what’s up. Believe me, I’ll come back better for it, and probably more in love because you allowed me my space while always holding the love…not doing it with resentment because you are also content in your life and with who you are.
• Truly love me…yes, with all of your being. Adore me, there is a way that a man treats a woman when he adores her, a look in his eyes, a way he shows up, a manner of behavior…. It’s not a man settling, it’s a man finding what he desires in another partner… not because she’s perfect, but because she’s perfect for him… love me like the earth depends upon it, and start by being my best friend.
• Keep me laughing…. Life has ups and downs let’s face it…. Challenges arise, things fade out, jobs go away, friends come and go, we loose people we love… we grow old… laugh with me, the whole time… laughter is great medicine, it will keep us young and in love, and ever dreaming.
• Make the sex the last thing to leave the relationship, keep the passion alive. Passion needs to be sparked sometimes, and yes, you have to work for it, but this just keeps you translating in a beautiful way…. no matter what it means, even at 80, 96 years old let’s make it happen baby…. I remember you as preserved in your 20’s and I’m still in love with everything about you, let’s remember to touch each other and infuse each other always with love.
• And most importantly, no matter what you do… never give up. Never stop believing in me, day dreaming, fantasizing about our future… the things you love, with me and mine woven into it…our children, and grandchildren at some point… even when I have my bitchy moments because I’m bound to, or I forget to see clearly… remember all of the good pieces about me, and that the fear is not real…the only real parts of me are what are rooted in love…how I nurse you when you’re ill and feed you, and think about how I can always make your life a more beautiful place for showing up…. So above all never give up on our love.
by Ashley Davene