In recent weeks, we have seen a Twitter battle between #YesAllWomen vs. #NotAllMen in response to the Elliot Rodger murder spree that took place in Isla Vista, CA near the campus of the University of California-Santa Barbara.
Some women … and particularly radical feminist types … have attempted to suggest that ‘all men’ have the potential to rape and date-rape women, assault women, and sexually harass women. Really? Wonder what some of these women think of Mary Kay Letourneau? Or Joy Morsi?
All human beings have a ‘dark side’ to them that can be unleashed at any time. This is not exclusive to one gender. Men have murdered women and women have murdered men. Same thing goes for sexual advances. Women have thrown themselves at men sexually just as much as men have made sexual advances toward women. Men are not the only gender who desire sexual pleasure and satisfaction from members of the opposite sex who may not be enthusiastic about reciprocating their erotic desires and interests.
If those women insist on examining the type of men that are probably the most likely to cause them harm, the group to examine would be the romantically and sexually frustrated Beta male.
If you go back and read this previous article from this column, you will see that all heterosexual men can be generally placed into four categories:
- Total Alpha male
- Alpha male with a few Beta traits
- Beta male with a few Alpha traits
- Total Beta male
To reiterate a brief capsule of each, a Total Alpha male would be a man who is very dominant with women, and has no problem attracting women for romantic and/or sexual companionship. Matter of fact, more often than not women will usually offer themselves sexually to a Total Alpha male rather than vice versa. A man in this category will never have to spend a lot of money on a woman in order to secure sex or play up to a woman’s ego in order to secure sex. Most of the time, a Total Alpha male does not even have to promise a woman any type of exclusive commitment or indefinite monogamy in order to get her in bed.
An Alpha male with a few Beta traits is the category of men that are arguably the most sought after by women for marriage or long-term, emotionally profound, monogamous relationships. This is a man who is a strong leader, but he also has a bit of a ‘soft, gentle, very romantic’ side to him that allows him to remain content with a long-term monogamous relationship with a woman as opposed to pursuing sexual relationships with multiple women that are more promiscuous or polyamorous in nature.
The thing to keep in mind with the above two groups of men is that 99.9% chance, women generally do not have to worry about the next George Sodini or Elliot Rodger (i.e., mass serial killers of women) emerging from these categories of men (cases of profound mental illness excluded). These types of men would have no motivation to commit such heinous crimes.
A man who is a Beta male with a few Alpha traits would be your classic “passive-aggressive” type personality. When it comes to interacting with women, most women will initially place this man in the ‘friend zone.’ Women will say things like, ‘He is so sweet. He is so nice. He is such a great guy.” This type of man will always make the mistake of thinking that the key to attracting and maintaining the romantic companionship of women is to constantly flatter women, play up to women’s egos, spend excessive amounts of money on women, and generally allow women to have their way with him. Only when this man feels ‘used,’ manipulated, ignored, and/or disrespected will he unleash his more aggressive, angry, and ‘Alpha’ side.
The Beta male with a few Alpha traits can develop somewhat of a ‘Dr. Jekyll-Mr. Hyde’ type personality with women. As long as his love life and sex life are satisfactory and enjoyable, everything will seem fine with this type of man. On the other hand, if this type of man is in-between romantic partners and has gone weeks, months or years without sex, he is going to become egotistically frustrated and may act out violently.
Deep down, Beta males with a few Alpha traits are jealous and envious of Total Alpha male types and Alpha males with a few Beta traits because they have never been able to attract and seduce women “with ease.” When a Beta male with a few Alpha traits is married or involved in a long-term relationship with a woman, it is the woman who is generally in control of the relationship … not the man. In many cases, the woman is cheating on this type of man with another man who exhibits more erotic dominance and Alpha-level sex appeal, but she remains in a relationship with the Beta male because of his accommodating and lenient personality, his degree of career success, his wealth, or some other characteristic that has nothing to do with genuine romantic and sexual attraction (see related article).
The only category of men worse off than a Beta male with a few Alpha traits would be a Total Beta male. At least with a Beta male with a few Alpha traits, he can usually find himself a wife (even if that wife is controlling him, manipulating him, and rations out sex to him sparingly) or a long-term girlfriend who will henpeck him as long as he is faithful and takes care of her financially.
A Total Beta male is a man who is so weak, spineless, passive, and devoid of raw sex appeal that women usually will not have sex with this type of man even if these men flatter them constantly and offer to spend big money on them regularly. Just about their only hope for sex is street prostitutes, professional Call Girls, or upscale Erotic Escorts. If you read the article in this column about the ’80-20 Rule’ theory (i.e., the notion that roughly 75-80% of the women in society will end up competing for the romantic and sexual companionship of only 20-25% of the men in society), you can think of Total Beta males as the men who are in that ‘Bottom 20%’ of sexually desirable men. Many times, women do not even want to maintain a purely platonic friendship with men in this category.
If these men ignore all opportunities for self-improvement, some of the men from the Total Beta male category will reach a point in their life … as early as 21 or 22 (like Elliot Rodger) or as late as their Forties or Fifties … when they will just “snap.” They will grow tired of being lonely, grow tired of masturbating to Internet porn, and grow tired of being treated as if they are ‘invisible’ in the eyes of the women who they are attracted to.
There is going to come a day when some ‘inciting incident’ (e.g., the Total Beta male being rejected and humiliated by a woman in public) is going to act as the flame that lit the fuse to this man who is a walking, talking emotional time bomb.
The irony of some of the criticisms offered by the “#YesAllWomen” contingent is that many of the women in this group targeted men who were ladies’ men, womanizers, serial monogamists, and other similar types. The reality is, those are the types of men who they need to be the least worried about. Men who are receiving oral sex and intercourse from women on a regular or semi-regular basis have no emotional or egotistical motivation to pick up a knife or a gun and just start randomly killing women (again, cases of profound mental illness not included).
The male co-worker who consistently brags on how many women he slept with last month? As a woman, you might look at this man as crass, hyper-sexual, shallow, and representative of a ‘jerk,’ but the reality is that this type of guy is not a threat to harm you or assault you in the near or distant future. This man’s sexual needs are being taken care of, even if his ego is perceived to be boastful or out-of-control.
The co-worker you need to be worried about is that soft-spoken, mild-mannered guy whose social skills seem awkward and way below average. The guy that all of the women say, “He is so quiet and sweet! He never causes any trouble!” but those same women never show him any romantic or sexual attention at all.
What you perceive as him being “quiet and relaxed” is actually that guy seething with romantic and sexual frustration. He is wondering how the loud-mouth ‘jerk’ in the office gets laid regularly while he is at home masturbating every weekend. Then he turns his anger toward all of the women he observes giving the ‘jerk’ a lot of attention. This is the guy women need to be afraid of. In some cases, VERY afraid.
If and when the next murder-suicide happens (God forbid), it can be almost guaranteed that the people who know the killer will not say, “Everyone knew him as a charming ladies’ man … a prolific womanizer. The women swooned over him.” Uhm … no. More than likely, people will say, “He was so quiet. Never caused any trouble. He kept to himself a lot.”
Yep. That sounds like the type. The romantically and sexually frustrated Beta male.
Mind your surroundings ladies. #YesAllWomen.
Alan Roger Currie is the author of a number of books, including Mode One: Let the Women Know What You’re REALLY Thinking and Oooooh . . . Say it Again: Mastering the Fine Art of Verbal Seduction and Aural Sex. Currie’s latest eBook, The Possibility of Sex: How Naive and Lustful Men are Manipulated by Women Regularly is also available exclusively on Amazon.com in their Kindle format. You can also download a copy of Currie’s eBook on your iPhone, Android Smartphone, or other Smartphone.
Upfront & Straightforward with Alan Roger Currie, the most-listened to talk radio podcast program in the category of “Romance” and “Self-Help for Relationships” on the BlogTalkRadio Internet Radio Network, can be heard LIVE every Thursday evening at 10:00pm EST / 7:00pm PST. Visit http://www.blogtalkradio.com/modeone and http://modeone.net for more details
Currie offers email, telephone, and Skype consultations to both men and women; Visit http://modeone.net/products to purchase a consultation. Alan Roger Currie’s press release about the Elliot Rodger killing spree.