Talien (AKA Tal) the satyr paladin and Maleficent (AKA Mal) the half-fiend/half-fey sorceress are back with yet another talk show, this one reviewing famous monsters and disasters from the Syfy channel, with stats for 5th Edition Dungeons & Dragons. In this episode they learn about the absurd and the bees.
Mal: This is getting old: Arachnoquake? Bataclysm? What next, a tornado with sharks in it?
Tal: So today’s topic is bees. Bees launched by the eruption of Mount St. Helens.
Mal: Bees living in a volcano? Seems legit.
Tal: They’re about the size of fists, but they’re really dangerous in swarms.
Mal: Are they on fire?
Tal: No, why do you ask that?
Mal: Well we had fire-spitting spiders, so why not? Also, they live in volcanoes. Shouldn’t they be made of diamonds and spit lava?
Tal: You’re really not on board with the theme of this series, are you?
Mal: How could anyone be?
Tal: You mean “bee”? One good thing about defeating this swarm is that they can be beaten through the use of cold attacks.
Mal: Ah-ha! So they are fire elementals!
Tal: I didn’t say that.
Mal: I don’t care what you say, nothing on this show makes sense, so I’m making up my own rules! Next up: cybernetic boars that attack people during hurricanes!
Tal: Funny you should mention that…
- Medium swarm of Tiny beasts, unaligned
- Armor Class 12 (natural armor)
- Hit Points 22 (5d8)
- Speed 20 ft., climb 20 ft.
- STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
- 3 (−4) 13 (+1) 10 (+0) 1 (−5) 7 (−2) 1 (−5)
- Damage Vulnerabilities cold
- Damage Resistances bludgeoning, piercing, slashing
- Condition Immunities charmed, frightened, paralyzed, petrified, prone, restrained, stunned
- Senses blindsight 10 ft., passive Perception 8
- Languages —
- Challenge 1/2 (100 XP)
Swarm. The beeclipse swarm can occupy another creature’s space and vice versa, and the beeclipse swarm can move through any opening large enough for a Tiny insect. The beeclipse swarm can’t regain hit points or gain temporary hit points.
Bites. Melee Weapon Attack: +3 to hit, reach 0 ft., one target in the beeclipse swarm’s space. Hit: 10 (4d4) piercing damage, or 5 (2d4) piercing damage if the beeclipse swarm has half of its hit points or fewer. The target must make a DC 10 Constitution saving throw, taking 7 (2d6) poison damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.
The region containing a Beeclipse creates one or more of the following effects:
- Lava is everywhere. It deals 2d6 fire damage by direct contact and 1d6 fire damage for 1d3 rounds thereafter. Immersion inflicts 20d6 fire damage and 10d6 fire damage for 1d3 rounds thereafter.
- The air is choked with ash. A character who breathes the ash must make a Constitution save each round (DC 15, +1 per previous check) or spend that round choking and coughing. A character who chokes for 2 consecutive rounds takes 1d6 points of poison damage.
- Rocks and rubble litter the terrain. Movement is halved due to the rubble.
You can purchase How to Survive a Sharknado and Other Natural Disasters at Amazon.
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