*The following is a re-post from my A Day in the Life Blog on 11-5-2011
How important is sex? Sex should not be the entire basis of a relationship, but it is important for the survival of a relationship. A healthy sex life helps couples feel connected.
Not only is sex a key ingredient to a lasting relationship, according to this article from Web MD, there are many health benefits from a healthy sex life, also.
Web MD lists among the health benefits: stress relief, an immunity boost, burning off calories, improved heart health, greater self-esteem, increased intimacy, less pain, reduced risk of prostate cancer, stronger pelvic floor muscles, and better sleep. Read the article for more details, but you cannot argue with those great benefits to your health.
Why is sex important for men? Men need a physical release, especially when they are feeling stressed. Sex is a wonderful physical activity that they can share with their partner. Men can participate in sports or other physical activity, but sex is a lot more fun. They don’t often get to share those other activities with their partner so sex is a way for men to spend time with the women they love. Men use sex to show the woman in their life that they love them. Sometimes men cannot communicate feelings with words. Since being close physically is one of the ways men signal to a woman they love her, they can feel rejected if their partner loses interest in sex. Ladies, if you have lost interest in sex, talk to your man about why. He needs to know if you are not having your needs met or if there is another reason that sex no longer interests you. If you tell a man what he can do to make sex enjoyable for you, he will want to do it. Men want to know what makes you feel good. They don’t always know what that is. Never criticize, but tell them honestly what drives you wild. You’ll be surprised at how great sex can be when a man no longer has to guess.
Why do women lose interest in sex? Women need to have their emotional needs met in order to feel good about having sex. If a woman doesn’t feel respected, she will lose desire. If she is really stressed out or just plain too tired from chasing kids around all day, she won’t have the energy. Women sometimes feel self-conscious about sex. As their bodies change from pregnancy and childbirth to menopause, they may feel unattractive. Men, you can help by reassuring her that you love her body. Tell her she is sexy and the only woman you want to be with. Also, if you have young children and she feels run ragged, try to plan a day off for her. Allow her time to work out, get a massage, or have a night out with friends. If you can take care of the kids, by all means, do that. If that is not the best option, get a babysitter. Schedule certain days whenever possible that are Mom’s days off. Even if it can only be once a month, it helps.
Ladies, you don’t have to be a size 6 to be desirable. Great sex is about confidence. If you love your body, so will your man! Relax and enjoy the physical time together. Immerse yourself completely into the moment. Try not to think about the kids or work or anything else. A woman who is distracted will not get the most pleasure out of sex that she could.
If you have become stuck in a rut and sex has become non-existent, you can change that. Ask your partner if they are willing to talk about it. Tell them that you would like to rekindle your sex life. If it’s been a while since you’ve shared that physical closeness, spend some time reconnecting as a couple. Spend time together relaxing and having fun. Touch each other, not just as foreplay. Touch each other throughout the day. A simple kiss or hug, maybe just lightly touching a shoulder or back can restart that physical connection needed to bring back desire. If necessary, see a therapist or a physician. There could be a medical reason why desire has been lost. You can always see a relationship coach, too. If your partner wants to talk about your sex life, take it to heart. If sex is important to your partner, they are not going to wait around forever. Don’t help them decide to look for someone else, help them love and desire you