It is no secret that the statistics show that African America homes are suffering with a lack of male presence and male leadership. Many have attributed it to the lack of desire for black men to be responsible, others have declared it’s a lack of role models showing young boys how to be men and assuredly many have said, men want it both ways, to have their cake and eat it to with no regard to what others need.
It may surprise you to know that men in general avoid confrontation by nature, but, there are black men who’ve had fathers who taught the art of healthy confrontation, these men admit, confrontation is not always avoidable. Men get lost quicker in relating than women. Men are achievement oriented, women are relationship oriented, but both natural inclinations can get lost in translation and in real life situations.
The challenge of black male leadership isn’t getting any easier, but harder. Black females earn far more than black men in corporate America. Black women generally have far better credit. Black women have a plethora of laws that defend their right to womanhood, motherhood and sex. On the opposite, black men are facing newer prison complexes to house them, expanding Juvenile Centers to detain them and a failing educating system that disappoints them especially if they are not compliant to the rules and regulations.
But the reason I’m writing this article is altogether different from the foundation of what we all hear about on a daily basis. The question and concern I would like to raise is, “Are we (in the western society) creating a culture of failing black men on purpose?” from the church house to the board room. We hear so much about the bad of black men that I wonder if we have nothing left subconsciously to desire but for what is widely advertised.
If the spotlight is always on the “Thug”, isn’t this another way to denigrate the black race in general? If you take away the head of the family- what kind of family would it be? Oh, I almost forgot, many women now accept that the black man IS NOT the head of the family. Assuredly, this thinking despite the shortage of black male leadership creates a new set of dynamics of which we’ve no time to address.
But suffice it is to say, that while these questions and arguments continue, good and decent black men behind the scenes are suffering from a lack of real communication and support for manhood challenges in relationships, the workplace, education, homes and communities. While the “Thugs” dominate the airwaves, good men are searching for the courage to keep leading while being ostracized and criticized.
Admittedly, if a black man doesn’t have a role model, he may seriously lack the characteristics of what a man should be and what his role should look like in the home, in relationships and communities. But, there was a time when single seasoned black mothers could raise a man with characteristics and values which could almost if not match the same black man whose father was present displaying those values.
The dilemma’s we have are many regarding the presence or absence black male leadership, black male roles in the home and in committed relationships. The issues are complex regarding black women’s response to positive black male presence and on the opposite spectrum, black women’s tolerance of black men’s absenteeism. with or without the hostility, violence, immorality and criminality.
Unfortunately, the good black men continue to fight a uphill cultural battle while the popular-ism of “Thugish Lifestyles” continues to grow with the consumption of reality TV and the dissemination of bad news every day and night regarding black men in the news. I am prepared to write a series of articles to articulate the position of the least of black males, those who are responsible, accountable and positive.
I plan to share the multifaceted frustrations and growing pains regarding the uphill cultural battle positive black males are fighting behind family and church doors with seemingly no platform to voice the growing cancer of erasing the good black man’s ability to affect the cultural tide. If you would like to share your story as part of the research and preparations for these articles and soon to be documentaries, please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Let’s connect & heal!