Quick, straightforward question:
Is a woman’s time, attention, and social companionship ‘more valuable’ than a man’s time, attention, and social companionship?
For those who responded, “Yes, it is …,” why do you feel this way (particularly, if you are a man reading this article right now)?
Recently, on an episode of The Steve Harvey Show, a woman from the audience named ‘Jessie’ explained in Steve’s “Ask Steve” segment a situation she experienced with a guy where her date informed her at the last minute that he did not have his debit card with him, so she ended up having to pay for the dinner date herself.
Jessie expressed the comment, “I don’t expect to have every date paid for … I just want the man that I am going out on a date with to try to ‘impress me’ the first time …”
Okay … stop right there. Why does any man need to ‘impress’ a woman on the first date? And what benefit does that serve for the woman in the long run?
A man who is a boldface liar and full-fledged con artist knows how to present himself to women as a ‘classy gentleman’ who has a high degree of moral character and integrity on a first date. A man who has cheated on his ex-wife and all of his former romantic companions knows how to present himself to women as if he is the most monogamy-minded man on earth. A man who has bad credit and is financially irresponsible can rent a nice looking car and borrow some money from a friend so he can take a woman out on a date at a five-star restaurant.
You get the point? So … how does a man making an attempt to ‘impress’ a woman really benefit the woman in the long run?
Men and women have been dating, mating, and reproducing themselves since the beginning of time. There were no fancy automobiles 500 years ago. There were no five-star restaurants or movie theaters 1,000 years ago.
So … before the days of six-figure salaries and expensive clothing … how did men go about ‘wining and dining’ women?
Marinate on that for a bit. Now, back to this episode of The Steve Harvey Show.
Seconds later, Steve … the popular host of the television talk show and the author of Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man … says, “Ladies, you should expect a man to pay for a first date . . . he has to pay for your company.”
Okay … once again, stop right there.
Why should any man be expected to ‘pay’ for a woman’s social companionship?
Why does an employer pay an employee a salary or wages? Usually because that employee is contributing to that company becoming more organized, more productive, and most importantly, more profitable.
What is a man paying a woman for … sex? Entertaining conversation? Her time in general?
Do you know what a Professional ‘Escort‘ is? This is a woman who wealthy and financially generous men pay money to in exchange for their social companionship while they are out-of-town on business. Escorts slightly differ from women who operate as an upscale professional ‘Call Girl’ in the sense that a female Escort is not ‘obligated’ to engage in sexual relations with her male clients while a Call Girl is specifically being paid to please and sexually satisfy their male clients (some women are referred to as ‘Erotic Escorts,’ which is basically the same thing as an upscale Professional Call Girl).
So … should all men treat all women as if they are ‘Escorts’ and ‘Call Girls?’ That would almost be akin to saying, “All men should treat women as if they are whores for money.”
Note: The dictionary definition of a ‘whore’ is a woman who is willing to exchange her romantic and sexual companionship for money, financial favors, and/or employment opportunities. So, for example, if a woman is only willing to engage in sex with a man if he is offering to pay her money or perform some sort of financial favor for her – but this same woman would not be willing to have sex with that same men if no money is being offered above or below the table – then that woman is officially a whore.
- A woman who chooses to have sex with a man for free is not a whore.
- A woman who only agrees to have sex with a man after he has spent money on her is a whore.
This gets to the heart of one of the biggest problems in society as it relates to the concept of ‘dating.’
What is the true purpose of dating? To offer women a number of free meals, free movies, and free concerts just for the heck of it? To spend money on women in the hopes that she will agree to have sex with a man in the near future?
On one end, you have many women who are hardcore feminist types who criticize men for ‘treating women like sluts and whores’ who are supposed to just ‘put out’ (i.e., have sex with a man) by the end of the first date, but then many of these same women are in favor of a man ‘wining and dining’ a woman to win her favor and interest. Really?
No man should ever feel obligated to attempt to ‘impress’ a woman with his financial generosity, monetary favors, or free meals and movies. That is the very definition of manipulation. And you have women on online matchmaking websites offering comments like, “I don’t want a man who is into playing games.”
Reality check: If you, as a woman, expect men to spend money on you in order to ‘impress’ you … you are asking for a man to engage in manipulative ‘head games’ with you.
The main purpose of a man and a woman conversing with each other to begin with is to find out if they have a mutual interest in sharing each other’s company in a one-on-one manner. Once the two have determined that, CHECK.
Next, is to find out what each other is looking for. A long-term, emotionally profound, monogamous relationship that will potentially lead to marriage? An ‘open’ (non-monogamous) relationship? A ‘friends-with-benefits’ relationship? A few days, a few weeks, or a few months of ‘casual’ sex? Once the two have agreed on what type of romantic and/or sexual relationship they plan on pursuing, CHECK.
What type of character and integrity does this person have? Complacent or ambitious? Dishonest or honest? Lazy or industrious? Responsible or irresponsible? Mentally sane and emotionally stable or mentally ill and psychotic? Etc., etc., etc. Once the man and the woman have a general idea of the type of person they are dealing with, and are enthused about moving forward, CHECK.
Sorry Mr. Harvey … but in the real world of dating, a woman’s time, attention, and companionship is no more valuable than any man’s time, attention, and social companionship. The social companionship of all human beings – male or female – has some degree of value. Remember that. The only woman who should ever be ‘wined and dined’ like a queen is a woman who gave birth to her husband’s children and then subsequently sacrificed her own career goals and ambitions in order to stay home and nurture and raise those same children. I say treat that woman to free meals for the rest of her life and buy her as many materialistic gifts as her heart desires and your wallet can afford. She deserves it.
If you agree with Mr. Harvey that a man should always ‘pay for a woman’s company,’ then once again … you are essentially saying that all men should treat all women as if they are Escorts and Call Girls on the first date or two. And we wonder why some women become materialistic gold diggers. If you socialize women to believe that all men should feel obligated to be financially generous with women, then you are setting women up to believe that they should ‘sell’ their social companionship, romantic companionship, and sexual companionship to the “highest bidder.” That is not a good thing for male-female relationship dynamics in the long-run.
The idea of consistently paying for a woman’s company is not representative of ‘thinking like a man.’ That is representative of thinking like a romantically and sexually frustrated and desperate Beta male who believes that being financially generous with women is the key to success in today’s dating scene. 90% or more of that man’s self-confidence and self-esteem will always come from his net worth and material assets … and sadly, whenever that man is in the company of other men (or women) who earn significantly more money than himself, he is going to feel extremely egotistically insecure for the rest of his life. Poor guy.
Old school pimps referred to men who pay for a woman’s sexual companionship as ‘tricks.’ Even worse than the ‘tricks’ were the men who spent money on women only to gain nothing more than entertaining conversation and a polite, but disingenuous ‘church hug’ at the end of the date instead of the opportunity to exchange orgasms. Pimps referred to men of this nature as ‘chumps’ and/or a ‘suckas.’
My suggestion for Steve is that he comes out with a new book: Act Like a Lady … but Think Like an Escort (or Call Girl) to Take Advantage of all of the Chumps, Suckas, and Tricks in Society. Okay, okay. That title is a wee bit too long for Amazon.com
The reality is, that book was already written a long time ago … but no one has ever been able to identify the man or woman who wrote it. And every woman who has ever benefited from an endless string of free meals, free movies, and free concerts will never publicly admit to reading it. They just smile, go about their business, and say, “Thank God for men who think like Steve Harvey. He is a true treasure.” And this is why we have a nation full of women who are being socialized to become nothing more than a gold-digging whore and a variation of an ‘Escort.’
Men’s time, attention, and social companionship is valuable too. Remember that.
Alan Roger Currie is the author of a number of books, including Mode One: Let the Women Know What You’re REALLY Thinking and Oooooh . . . Say it Again: Mastering the Fine Art of Verbal Seduction and Aural Sex. Currie’s latest eBook, The Possibility of Sex: How Naive and Lustful Men are Manipulated by Women Regularly is also available exclusively on Amazon.com in their Kindle format and will soon be available on Audible.com as an audiobook. You can also download a copy of Currie’s eBook on your iPhone, Android Smartphone, or other Smartphone. Starting with Monday, August 4, 2014, you might be eligible to download a FREE copy of the audiobook version of ‘Mode One’ on Audible.com. CLICK HERE for more details.
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