Blaine Lee once said, “Any change, any loss, does not make us victims. Others can shake you, surprise you, disappoint you, but they can’t prevent you from action, from taking the situation you’re presented with and moving on.”
When you read this quote what response does it surface? Do you agree with Blaine? I believe that we are not our circumstances so, when we experience hardship, we must breathe this sense of reality into the tragedy. This is difficult though because when the floor is pulled out from beneath us, rational response is lost within our emotions. But the truth is, you are only a victim in the moment of the trauma and during the time it is controlling you.
As you gather your senses (sort through the emotions) and open your eyes to the reality of your situation, you can start to assess your circumstances. Just by standing up to see what you must overcome, you can begin to gain your footing and step out of the victim mentality.
It has been said in this column many times before, you can’t always control what is thrown at you in life, but you can control how you respond. As difficult as the situation may feel, you have a choice to feed the horrible energy or shift it in order to catapult you into a mode of resilience.
Remember, we all have visions for our lives and we all suffer unexpected events of hardship but some of us are able to use these events as a mechanism to thrust us into new and better areas that we could have never foreseen prior to the tragedy.
For example, after my father’s death I started writing bereavement poems and this helped me process my feelings of loss. Later, while interfacing with an owner of an art gallery, she read my work and told me I should consider offering them in a book to help others suffering. I am now a published author of What Can I Say When Words Escape Me, being present during times of sorrow, and I have my own Healthy Living column. This was not part of my vision nor would I have chosen to lose my father but as I learned to channel my bereavement into written work, I opened a new chapter in my life. This is what Blaine meant by “…they can’t prevent you from action, from taking the situation you’re presented with and moving on.”
I could have stayed stuck within the overwhelming feelings of loss or I could embrace the resilience God had gifted me. I chose the latter and I am better for it.
If you’re feeling stuck in your life today, look to the light and reach out for help. Utilize creativity, your support circle, the community (a helpline), your church or whatever you can to empower you to move forward. You are resilient, embrace this!
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