Sometimes you get to a point in your relationship where you feel like you’re stalled. You’re not agreeing. You’re not communicating. And you don’t know what to do. When you get to that place where you’re both mentally and physically exhausted, you tend to want to suggest that you just take a break. A break from the relationship. A break from the stress. A break from each other to clear your heads. You say you’re just taking a step away from the situation to gain some perspective, but what happens in that break? What does it really mean? What’s the point of taking a break in a relationship?
It doesn’t really fix the problem. It’s actually avoiding the problem. When things get tough in a relationship, you should dig in and work together to get to the bottom of it. Running away from your problems doesn’t fix them. Taking a break from an argument is one thing, but taking a break from the relationship in it’s entirety is completely different. If you need some time apart. Take some time apart. Go for a walk. Go to the gym. Go hang out with your friends. Read a book. Do whatever it is you need to do to clear your head. But taking a semi-permanent break from the relationship is not how you fix things.
You will just search for distractions to fill the time. The thought process behind “taking a break” is to take time to work through your problems, work on yourselves, and/or figure out whether or not to continue with the relationship. But people don’t really do that! The first thing you do is go look for distractions. And distractions could be anything. It could be a new hobby or throwing yourself into your work or finding someone else to date. If you think avoiding the problem is a good way to solve the problem you’re completely wrong. Distractions are not a solution to your relationship problems. And dating or even talking to someone else in the meantime, is the worst kind of distraction.
You will eventually learn to function without them. The longer you spend time away from and out of communication with your significant other, the easier it will become to phase them out of your life. You’ll eventually learn to live without them. A big part of the glue that holds you together is communication. Everyone knows that communication is key in any relationship. If you end all communication, how does that solve the issues in your relationship?
If you really want to take a break, you should probably just break up. Taking a break is oftentimes a way of holding on to something you’re just not ready to let go of. Maybe you don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings or maybe you don’t want to deal with the pain of ending a relationship, but why would you prolong the pain? Why drag it out? If you know things aren’t working and there’s no way you can fix them, you might have to let it go. Besides, it would be much better to break up and then get back together than to go on a “break” and see other people on the side and hurt the person you’re taking a break from. Work on your relationship. As hard as it may be, either try to fix it or let it go.
So what do you think? Does taking time apart really work? Will it help or hurt your relationship?
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Also read: The Break-Up Lies.
©Tara Carr 2014, All rights reserved. No part of this article may be reproduced without prior written permission and consent from the author or Clarity Digital Group LLC, DBA yeahstub.com.